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​Musings

These posts are my musings and cover many topics.  Some posts will be observations that I have made over my lifetime...some will be what I call, truisms.  Truisms that I have developed from having to deal with the tough situations life sometimes deals us.  I developed these little philosophies to help me avoid a situation in the future or  to allow me to have a better outcome the next time around.  All observations, truisms , and whatever other post this blog contains are  based on my own personal experiences and  opinions.  Hopefully, some post will be of some help to someone in a situation or  give someone another perspective...another way of looking/thinking about a situation that is helpful.  I love writing these posts and I appreciate you  reading them :-)

Please be aware there is a NEW  feature added to  some of the Musings.....AUDIO....There will be an audio bar on those Musings that offer this option.....You may not feel like reading at that moment....now you may listen:-)

Quote:

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind."- Gibran

A Cello Journey...Finding My Heart's Voice  (Part One)

8/30/2013

4 Comments

 
Even though I am currently on my cello journey...following my life's dream....there is always a beginning to any journey. I have to go back several decades and visit my past to tell my story.

I remember, so well, the day I went to the orchestra/band room at my school.  I was in the 7th grade.  I wanted to play an instrument and be in the orchestra....but, what instrument?  The music director,  Mr. Blackman, said to go into a practice room and he would bring me an instrument and I would spend time alone with it...and when I was ready he would bring me another...a stringed instrument was what I wanted.  

Mr. Blackman was the finest teacher a kid could ever have.  We all loved him and he was supportive to us all.  I owe him everything cello as he went to bat for me when I had no one.  I don't see this kind of thing happening today.  I was one lucky kid to have him on my side.

But, back in the practice room, I spent time with the violin but didn't like the sound...too high...the viola was boring and too big to hold under the chin...too inbetween for me...then he brought the cello...I soon knew that the sound..poor as it was coming from a kid...was my sound.   I tried the bass fiddle also and liked it but it was not practical ,  I thought ,and too deep and a bit boring in sound.  So , it was to be the cello for me....I was then assigned a school cello.  It is very vague what happened between then and  the next chapter...getting a teacher.  I believe he helped me and gave me a book and I did it myself.  I know I loved it and the orchestra.  I always felt/feel an internal excitement about the cello from my very first encounter with it.

I came from a very non-supportive  home environment and there was resistance to  getting me a teacher and a cello ...to say the very least.  Mr. Blackman repeatedly called my Mother until she gave in on the teacher and he found Mr. Liberti.  How he got him to teach me, I do not know but, Mr. Blackman performed magic in my eyes.  Mr. Liberti was with the Cleveland Orchestra and was the best !!  Everytime I touch a cello, I use what Mr. Liberti taught me.  I was a lucky kid to have him. Then, this whole thing with getting my own cello started...I was using a school instrument and was allowed to bring it home every night.  Getting a cello took a lot longer and a lot of drama was attached to it as there was serious resistance to this idea.....Mr. Blackman made several calls to my Mother and finally, she relented.   He even sent the salesman to our home and I got a "student" cello.  As I look back, I marvel at the effort and commitment  to me this teacher had.  He made a huge impact on my life. 

The next 5 yrs went by quickly.  I practically lived at school in the bandroom....I was in orchestra, danceband with the drums and back up bass...and my love...the polka band with bass fiddle.  During the summer I was in All- City Orchestra with kids from all over the city.  I played at Severance Hall twice with our little Orchestra....a huge  deal. The usual contests and recitals....it was a wonderful time.   I  was happiest in the band room playing my cello....I took it everywhere....I dragged  it to school and back home every day in all kinds of weather....back then, we walked to school(we never had a car).  I named my first cello, Oscar! I was very serious and had my sights set on the The Cleveland Orchestra.

It was towards the end of my last HS year (12th) that things took a different turn.  I became engaged toward the end of my last year .  The wedding was scheduled a few months after my graduation.  About a month or so before graduation, Mr. Blackman came to me and told me he obtained a full scholarship for me from Oberlin University for cello performance...My dream was to go to Oberlin and then, of course, onto the CSO.

It was a different time with different expectations back then.  Today, this scenario would not play out  in the same way as it did for me back then.   I turned this scholarship down for another path to my future.  Thus ending my cello dream.

to be continued....several decades later in Part 2......

Some quotes from a man  who has been  an  inspiration  thru out my life:

"Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart." - Pablo Casals

"The most perfect technique is that which is not noticed at all." - Pablo Casals


When Casals (then age 93) was asked why he continued to practice the cello three hours a day, he replied, “I’m beginning to notice some improvement.”


A young Mellow Cello from yearbook:-)
Picture
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SHOULD I TRUST YOU ?

8/26/2013

2 Comments

 
Trust is something we all want to do but, sometimes wonder....can we?  Yes, I have always felt that trust was a worrisome issue because I could get hurt, in some way,  if the person was untrustworthy.
Having been around a while, I have trusted people who let me down in some way.  I started developing a strategy...a process....to determine if I would trust someone and most important...to what degree.
Now, I am not talking about business trust...that's another subject for another time.  I'm talking about personal trust.  Something we are asked to do frequently in our day to day personal dealings with people and on a more serious level...in our relationships...friends, loved ones, etc.
In this musing, I would like to talk about trust and the people  we communicate with throughout our day.  People who we don't know well....even people we work with.....meet or communicate with on the internet....it is surprising to me  how much trust plays in our day to day world.
I will say this process I go thru is not fool proof(no pun intended)...but, it usually  helps me.  Although, I get caught sometimes as I WANT to trust someone and throw caution to the wind...this happened a short time ago and I made an error of judgement.  I think that is the danger in trusting wrongly....we WANT to trust someone....not a good idea (as I found out) without some thought .
What I try to do when I am deciding if I should trust someone  is:

Gather as much info on that person that I can.....who is this person's friends and "group"...how do they communicate with them?.....can you observe this in any way...if all you have is written communication to observe.....I'm referring to the internet now....take a look at as much of their communication that you can...if face to face....observe when you are around that person or in their group...the work place or social interactions come to mind....take it all in ...it is hard for someone to hide who they are..not impossible though...on a daily basis while interacting about little things....but, these interactions are most telling if given some thought...
Once I feel it might be ok to trust this person , I slowly give them info and see how they handle it...and then a bit more....normally, people give something back and you can start telling what kind of person this might be by how are they dealing with what you gave them and how solid and truthful is what they give you back. These exchanges can be over coffee, lunch, drinks, emails, other internet communications etc..You should be able to tell, to some degree, if you can begin to trust this person.
I, personally, tend not to be a trusting person(based on a lot of experience), so I really depend on observation and thought and frankly, a lot of second guessing that person....watching for inconsistencies is a big help.
As you observe and take in communications , over  time,  inconsistencies  will start to show if this person is less than trustworthy.
I feel , strongly, that trust is built over time as more and more info is shared etc...but, it can be taken away in a heart beat. All it takes is one time for me, personally.  
Thruout my life, I have seen this happen to a lot of people...my friends etc...and I noticed that even though trust is broken...these people continue to trust the person.  I, frankly, have never done that nor, do I think I ever could.  I think this falls under the heading of ...I WANT to trust them....and that puts them in an up and down situation .  I feel if someone breaks trust once....it is like lying....they will do it again...for sure. 

So, should I trust you?...it'll take me  awhile to figure that out:-)  

Some quotes that show  even the famous have/had the issue of trust on their minds:

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool." - Stephen King

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." - William Shakespeare

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." - George MacDonald

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Don't sing that Somebody Done You Wrong Song...even if they did !

8/18/2013

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The other day , a very good friend of mine(very long time friend) said  ..... I never hear you say a negative/bitter thing about .......(she proceeded to name the people who have caused me heartbreak and worse in my life.)  We all have had some heartbreak in our lives if we have lived any length of time.....divorces...friendships that disappoint....difficult childhoods....and the list can go on.

I told her my philosophy about this subject.  When I was 21 I went thru one of these heartbreaking situations .  One day while I was thinking about this situation and the person involved in very negative terms....it was as if a light bulb went off. 

I realized that heartbreak...someone doing you wrong...is like being stabbed in the heart.  One of the differences is  the person doing the stabbing goes on their merry way.  But, you are not so lucky....you talk about it with friends....you think about it...you don't have fun because the subject comes up when out with friends...perhaps your job suffers...people ask you about  him/her.  You are not going on your merry way.....this kind of response which is normal allows the other person to keep hurting/affecting you and he/she is not even around !

As young as I was, I knew that kind of thinking/feeling had to change.  I would not allow the hurting to go on (is that another country song?)...the best revenge or a kinder word...payback is your own success  and happiness. 

Thoughts equal the direction a person will go in..change the thoughts and change the direction....this has been my philosophy  since that  light bulb day.   I am so grateful I came to that  thinking because, unfortunately,  I needed that philosophy for other situations in the future.  It is difficult in a blog to explain in detail how to do this.  It is complex and individual....I am just presenting the concept for thought.  However, I can tell you how I did/do it and if it helps get you thinking ...great !

I personally feel that our thoughts are  like habits.   According to the experts, bad habits can't be broken but have to be replaced with good habits.  That is what I did and do all the time because it worked and continues to work for me.....in big and small situations .

So, when my thoughts about a situation  would start down a  "somebody did me wrong" path(doesn't matter the situation)....I replace them with thoughts of the positive...my goals....what I am going to do in the future...basically change focus and apply that thinking energy to something that will move you forward....you get the idea.  This new way of dealing with these "bad feelings" becomes habit over time ...a good one...after a few years  you won't have to think about it. It will be how you automatically process and handle a "hurt heart"/feelings/even anger...it's automatic for me now.


This is not what people usually call positive thinking....where you try to think good about every situation....that never worked with me....let's face it...a jerk is a jerk, a liar is a liar etc....thinking good about him/her doesn't make what that person did go away....No....I'm saying do not think about that person at ALL!...think about something that's going to do you some good not keep you  in the hurt/angry/negative mode.


Thus:
Out of mind....out of your life !!..and...
The best payback is your own positive  and successful life.

So, don't sing that "Somebody did Somebody  Wrong" song......even if they did.....you don't need to !

Quotes:


"Habits are like comfortable beds; they are easy to get into, but difficult to get out of." -- Denis Waitley

"Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now." -- Denis Waitley


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I know I like you because......

8/15/2013

2 Comments

 
Communication has always been a way that we determine how we feel about someone....whether it be in a personal or business sense.  My career was in communications...face to face mostly , but, a good deal written also. However,  it was the face to face interactions(or telephone) where  I had to show what kind of person I was and determine what kind of person I was dealing with.  There were also behaviors that helped make this decision.  You would see behaviors and hear the tone of voice...after a few minutes of conversing with someone...say a  neighbor...and observing their day to day behaviors  over time...we could say...such a nice person ! ..or, good grief, will have to avoid them if I can!


Today, it is different, by far.  I find myself determining if I "like", trust, or want anything to do with someone by their written communications  and written behaviors over time.  This topic has been on my mind recently as I was thinking and making a decision about  someone based exclusively on their written communications and behaviors.  I also realized that this was exactly what people have been doing about me :-)  How else could we do it if that is all  we have? Many times , that IS all we have in our online communications society.


I really like this way better than the face to face and observation method because it is a faster , more efficient, and accurate way to discern what a person is like.  We don't have the distractions of looks, facial expressions, body language, etc. (all which can easily be faked).  We do have    behaviors/communications in email responses, chat room , sound cloud, and facebook interactions.  Written communications go directly to the  mind and heart without distractions.  Many communications(and associated behaviors) over time, tell me if this is a person I want to continue to communicate with or if this person is, perhaps, mean, insensitive, inconsiderate, rude, self-serving and  can't be trusted with my thoughts and feelings.  These interactions will also tell me if their heart and mind are in the right place.


I am sure others are thinking about my communications also. I, personally, have met many wonderful, nice, kind, and very interesting people from online communications.  I have met people I call....friend.  I have also run into a few with the less desirable qualities I mentioned, but, we do that in face to face communications also.


I believe that we are doing this discernment without even realizing it. We assess other people's email/chat responses...are they abrupt or are they kind...do they follow thru...are they polite and respectful...are they consistent in what they say and how they say it.  I mean, we have a wealth of info that we don't have in face to face communications to determine if we basically "like" someone....how great is that? :-)


However, just as in face to face communications, it is a process over time and one that requires adjustments as more info is acquired.....but, isn't that what we  do in face to face ?


Thus :
"Written communications and their associated behaviors go directly to the heart and mind without distraction"


So.....why do I like you?....just ask me:-)
2 Comments

A FRIEND INDEED !

8/11/2013

8 Comments

 
Everyone is familiar with the saying ......you can always tell who your friends are when you're down and out.  My experience throughout life, in my career and personal achievements, is the exact opposite.  


I have found that people become uncomfortable (to varying degrees) when their friends(siblings, family, SO's) have greater success over time than they do.  This could mean a bigger house, better car, promotions, etc.. They love/like you when you are down or not doing as well as them but, will they stay and be supportive as you  move ahead of them?


Thus, a truism:


A real friend will be supportive as you move ahead on the path to success and still be there when you have "made it" and they have not.


It is rare to find people in and throughout our lives that have that quality...who are secure within themselves. So that where you are  in relation to themselves  is not a factor in friendship. 

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    Who Am I ? 

    I am an adult female who is a cellist, composer, and a student of life experiences (by necessity).  I feel we are all students in life until the day we die.  I am, a realist and I try to stay grounded in what I feel is  the truth in any situation. I feel we have a responsibility to God, ourselves, and the people who love us to be the very best person we can be.

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