Usually my musings are about  life's situations  and offer some truism or insight ....this one does not as I have not figured out how to deal with this myself.....and I have had many years of practice :-) I have been annoyed, quite a bit, lately by people telling me I should or should not feel "that" way because.........and they go on.  Has that ever happened to you?  This has inspired me to muse about it.  Musing usually makes me feel better :-)  

For some reason, people have a need in a conversation to advise us that we are feeling
"incorrectly". Even when the word  "feel" is not in a statement we are making...people assume we are feeling a certain way and  they have a need to tell us we should not "feel" that way !  Sometimes they tell us what  the  "correct" way to feel is.   They usually say things like...You should feel  etc......or...I don't know why you feel that way.... I find it all very annoying and have to try to  get thru the conversation without being rude because the intent is not a bad one by those that say these things....it is just plain irritating and it invalidates our feelings.

If people were really trying to "help" us with their concerns that we are feeling "wrong"...they could say things like....tell me why do you feel  that way....or ...what makes you feel or say that...... that would make a person feel validated for what they are feeling .  Perhaps, like for computers and software....there needs to be a ..... Dealing with Feelings for Dummies book :-)  But, the people that need a book like that probably would feel they didn't !

Yes, I am being a bit tongue in cheek  and I do see the humor in  this issue :-)....but, that doesn't make it less of an annoyance for me .

I do not mean to imply that everyone does that....they do not. I am fortunate and grateful  to have great communicators in my world .  It is the  occasional one that really puts a damper on a conversation and creates a feeling of annoyance......what?.....you say I shouldn't feel annoyed?   Oh No !!!!..not you too :-)

I thought I would see what other more well- known people have to say about feelings.....I hope you find them interesting...

I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 

I'm certainly glad Mozart did go with his own feelings and ignore those that thought otherwise.

This is one of my favorites.....sometimes there are no facts to back up your very legitimate feelings...they are legitimate because they are yours!

We apply law to facts. We don't apply feelings to facts.-Sonia Sotomayer
 
This  one I sincerely agree with and mean !

None of this was written to hurt anybody's feelings.- Ric Flair

Almost 7 years ago  when i restarted cello lessons, (I had played as a girl), I discovered the most beautiful piece of music.  When I listened to it I knew that music described who I was....my personality....how I acted and thought.   I felt  connected to this piece of music...It is the Brahms E Minor Cello Sonata.  At lesson day I told my teacher, Carole, about it and how excited I was about it and I would work hard and do whatever it took to play it.   I was playing about 4 months at that time and the E Minor , to  me, was like being at the bottom of Mt. McKinley and wanting to climb it with no experience.  Carole smiled and said something nice as she usually does .   The following lesson she brings with her a copy of the first page of the E minor.  She said....."there is no reason you can't learn  a few lines right now". She knows how to fuel a dream.  So, we took a few measures every week as a part of my lesson work until about 4 lines when it was time to move on with "real world"  cello learning.  Some day I knew I would be playing this beautiful piece of music.

I purchased  a  Pablo Casals Masterclass DVD of the E Minor and watched it off and on as the years passed.  Always wishing I was that student in the video whose playing was being corrected  . I had Pablo's words ,corrections, and opinions memorized.

It was almost 4 1/2 yrs. later before it was the appropriate time for me to start learning my dream piece.  We worked thru out the winter months on the first movement which was the only movement I wanted to play.   It was challenging and exciting all at the same time.  I watched that Master class video and Carole and I discussed techniques and worked all the  many problems......
I was so engrossed for several months with this wonderful music.   Unfortunately, as is normal in the learning process,  I could only take it so far.  By that I mean, I could "play" it technically but making music required more  capability than I had at that time.  So, I had to let the E Minor go to be revisited a few years down the road.  I always have withdrawal issues when I have to put down music I have been working on a long time...it is like a friend that I know and am fond of... and I had been working on this piece for about 4 1/2 months.  But, I understood and was looking forward to the future. 

That future has come and I have been working on this music for more than several weeks now with weekly critiques from Carole.  Although challenging  and time intensive it was a joy to work on and complete.

I have included a snippet of it if you would like hear it's profound , deep, and serious beginning and  direct contrast of the soft, sweet, and ethereal part... followed , yet, by an area full of drama...a study of complexities , passions,  and emotions is what this Brahms is all about. 

All that change of mood and tone in one minute...Brahms was awesome !!!!!......

I feel I have crossed the first finish line in my cello journey.  I had been thinking , for awhile,  what the next finish line is that I want to cross.  I like to set a piece of music up at the finish line and then the weeks , months, and years of lessons and practice will lead up to it and allow me to cross it by playing the piece I had set as my goal.  This next finish line will the Haydn Violin Concerto...Adagio....transcribed for cello
(by a very generous and  kindhearted fellow cellist).....

Here is a snippet of it that will give you an idea of its beauty.  It reaches my heart every time I listen to it....a very worthy goal for me :-)

There will be several years of hard work, for sure, before I am able to  write a Crossing the Second Finish Line musing but, the real joy for me will be in the journey and all the beautiful music  ahead of me that I will need to  learn/play to get to this point:-)

QUOTES......

A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. -
Colin Powell 

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. -
Christopher Reeve 

This is the Fig tree I mentioned above:-) Below is its offspring that I propagated this March.  They require a lot of care but are well worth it...

This was one of most exciting projects...growing mugos from seed...these are the new mugos..not all seeds planted emerged...I learned this is how it is in nature also.....a lot of seeds drop but only a few make it ....they were very cute though:-)  I found this to be a joyful and hopeful thing to do.....I love propagating plants :-)

These four are the result of the above planting...this will be their 3rd. winter .  I will put them in a container of soil in the garage and "watch" them all winter....do you notice that each one is so different?...different sized also...different size needles and "look"...the only way to get the "same" look of mugo is by cuttings or as I call it "cloning"....I did that a few years ago and only got one result...it is very very difficult...that is why nurseries use seeds and when you go buy a mugo ...you have to look thru several as they are all different :-)  ...Like these....and I ,think ,like people ....children from the same family are different...so are these mugos.....once they make it thru this winter, I think, their chances are really good....I care a lot about them and never tire of looking at or  fussing about them :-)