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DREAMS......LOST.... AND FOUND.....

1/28/2014

This musing is about our dreams and the importance in keeping them alive thruout our lives.

Dreams....Dreams are what keep us going day after day.....we think about them....dream about them....talk about them...and we work towards them, the best we can... dreams are a very personal part of us and offers us hope even through the challenges and disappointments that life brings us.

I have never used fiction as a part of any of my musings because I have never written it..ever....I wrote a lot in my career but it was all like my musings...truth as I knew it based on researched facts or my personal opinion. In this musing about lost dreams.....I am using a story I just wrote ...my first ever, so,please, don't judge me too harshly.....this one just happened as I had an idea.

This is a story about a man and his dreams.....when he was young, he was full of energy and his dreams....it doesn't matter what those dreams were....we can imagine....but, they were his and he worked towards them every day. Then , one day this man met a woman he loved . He thought about his dreams but decided on love and they married. He had put aside his dreams...oh no....not forgotten...just put aside...for the time being he told himself. Then the children came and another job was needed to take care of life's responsibilities. He was a good man....a family man.... Oh, yes....he thought of his dreams and from to time he tried to move forward and make progress towards them....but, life...and its surprises and demands always seemed to stop him in his tracks. But, his dreams were always in the back of his mind.....waiting.....
...they kept him warm when life's winters turned bleak and cold.

Time moved along as it does.....the children grew....the man got a little older....a little more tired.....still working at his boring job every day. But, in the back of his mind...there were those dreams....keeping vigil on his life as it moved on in time.

When the man reached his later years he tried to pursue his dream.....he put forth as much effort as he could but, sometimes the world is cruel and he had a hard time achieving what he dreamed due his age limitations. His dream it turns out is a young man's dream and too much time has been lost. He continued on in what capacity he could working in the area that his dream was in and it was satisfying but, he knew he would never achieve the dream in his lifetime.

Age took over and illness came...serious illness....as the man lay there breathing his last few breaths...what else was there to do but think about his life and his dreams. He made his choices early on and was satisfied as he thought about his life and how he lived it. But he knew he had lost his dream...... As his breath grew even more shallow and his eyes start to close for the last time...he became aware of a feeling of overwhelming peace and knew he would find his lost dream at last.......on the other side.

Those of you who read my musings know I have a dream....one that I had since I was 12 years old.....I talk about the details in my Cello Journey and the First Finish Line musings. I, too, made a similar choice as the man. During my life the loss of my dream was so painful I could hardly listen to music. One day , a bit later in life, a friend took me to see a new cellist soloing at our concert hall...Yo Yo Ma.....he was doing this because I had talked about my dream....at that point in my life I was working day and night to make a career...no time for thoughts of cello....he thought he was making me happy and was concerned that as I sat and listened...tears ran thruout the whole performance......I was feeling my dream...which was reminding me, it was still there...waiting.

Now, of course, as my musings point out...all is well...more than well....I am aggressively pursuing my second chance and I am living my life's dream .

It probably sounds like I am pointing out that the man made the wrong decision for himself and that I wish I had a made another choice when I was young. No.....I am not saying that....since the story is fiction we can't suppose for the man, but, I would make the same choices I did thruout my life because I love the life I made.....the bad led to all the good and there was a lot of that, for sure !!

What I'm pointing out from my experience and readings is that dreams are very important to us at all stages of our lives. We need to think carefully about our decisions and our priorities and keep our dreams in mind. I feel I would be remiss if I didn't say that if we want success in any area...dream or not....we have to be prepared to do whatever it takes to get it....commitment, focus, and a lot of diligent work. But, that is just a given.

I hope you, my reader or listener , as the case may be, are working on your dreams and if, at this time, you are not able to.... due to life's circumstances.....I hope you keep dreaming them:-)

QUOTES:

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." -
Walt Disney

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -
Eleanor Roosevelt

"A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work." -
Colin Powell

"Do all you can to make your dreams come true." - Joel Osteen

Note:
I believe with my deepest being in the following quote.....

"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning." - Gloria Steinem

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HAPPY...A STATE OF MIND AND......HEART.....

1/24/2014

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I have been trying to figure out all week what to write this musing about... No......it's not that I have nothing in mind to talk about(that rarely happens with me)...it's that I have too much and it is all interrelated. I receive a lot of enewsletters from my favorite motivational guys and each one had such valuable material in it ....I was in musing overload. Then.........

The other day, a good friend of mine, who composes the most beautiful music, made 2 very very happy pieces of music with me in mind.....Clown Orchestra music....now, you just know, that has to be very happy music...and it was.....he gave me instructions to listen to the music in the morning with coffee and in the evening with coffee again...and to talk to my friends ....read good books and this would keep me happy:-) It got me to thinking how important it is that we understand that we are responsible for what makes us happy. We have only ourselves to blame if we are not. Those of you who have read some of my other musings know how I feel about removing ourselves from people who have less than desirable qualities and behaviors ...basically people who hurt us and cause stress....and letting bad and hurtful situations "go" and "moving on". This "happy" thing is a big subject though, so , I went to my newsletters and quotes that get posted daily to my facebook newsline to get some good info to pass along to you. I knew this musing had to be about being happy.

There is a process...a way of thinking...actually,...that creates the happy inside us. At first you would think that our lives have to be free of problems of any kind...health, money, job and love problems....but, all of us has seen people with the most challenging of problems have joy in their lives......you can feel it and see it on their faces...so, no matter our trials and tribulations...we can create a feeling of happy inside of us....we may not have control over the problems that life sends us but.....being happy is something we do have control over. I always go to the experts when I need clarity on an issue of any kind...so.....

I am going to do some quoting from an excellent newsletter I received from Brian Tracy...one of my most favorite motivational guys.....this is a direct quote from his information....

"Sometimes people feel that they are controlled by external circumstances. But the fact is that your life is largely determined by your own personal choices and decisions in every area. You are where you are and what you are because of yourself. you have gotten yourself to where you are as the result of the choices and decisions that you have made in the past.

One of the most important discoveries in the 20th century thought has been the central role of the actions that you take. An action is defined as something with a consequence. Using this definition, even an inaction can be considered to be an action, because inaction, or a failure to act on your part, has a consequence that can dramatically impact your life."

I could never write about this subject any better than that. Based on my life's experience and my personal philosophy as to what works for me.....I totally agree with Mr. Tracy's words. I also agree with what follows ...his words on values and how important they are on how good a person feels....another direct quote from Mr. Tracy...

"The most important actions that you take in determining the quality of your life revolve around the virtues and values that you decide to embrace and live by.... They are as important to your life as breathing in and breathing out. The fact is that everything that you do is largely determined by what you feel to be good and right and true about life and people-your values!
When you are living consistent with your values, you feel good about yourself. When you are living inconsistent with your values, you feel badly about yourself."

Most of my musings are based on the effects of dealing with people who are unhappy with themselves for various reasons and many times it has to do with the quality of values they have. Also, many people , I have found(mostly too late) blame others or situations for their unhappiness.....and continue in a downward spiral with negative thoughts thru out their life and will drag others along with them. It is hard for me spot unhappy people sometimes because they can act happy at first. But, eventually, the behaviors that reflect this inside unhappiness shows thru. Sometimes , I can "feel" this unhappy feeling in others but , sometimes not. I am not speaking about having problems or a "bad " day or any of the things that make us human. I am speaking of innate unhappiness at their core. It really is hard for me to tell sometimes, until I am on the receiving end of their unhappiness...usually, it starts with unkindness towards others.....it is hard to be kind to others if you do not feel good about yourself....sort of like...dishonest people being suspicious of others because they are dishonest. Unhappiness within self shows up with a "crabby" shortness with people, also...we have all run into these kinds of people...difficult to deal with....basically negative ....you just know there is little happy inside them. Unfortunately, it makes us feel bad also...puts a damper on things so to speak.

The one thing I have always consistently tried to do...and again, I mention this in several of my musings...is stay away from people who are unhappy and negative as soon as I realize the fact...and to be around people who are kind, thoughtful, and approach life with a happy feel good attitude. Truthfully, I work hard at being happy in my own life because I do know I am responsible for it.. Happy doesn't just happen...it is like a garden...to successfully grow things....like feelings of happiness....cultivation, thought and care has to be taken. So, I am responsible for it just like I am responsible for how well I play the cello ..or anything else I do.

I hope everyone reading or listening to this has a lot of happiness inside them and are surrounded with happy people in their lives...and if not, can give their situation some thought and then change it.

QUOTES:

"No one is in charge of your happiness......except you" - anonymous

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heav'n of hell and a hell of a heav'n."
-- John Milton, poet

"The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"- Brian Tracy

"Be with those who bring out the best in you....not the stress in you" - Brian Tracy

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heav'n of hell and a hell of a heav'n."
-- John Milton, poet

"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts" - Marcus Aurelius

"Always make time for things that make you feel happy to be alive " - Brian Tracy

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I WAS WONDERING........

1/7/2014

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Lately there have been a couple of situations that have caused me to shake my head and wonder.....about people and how some of them can turn a very positive situation into one that is negative. During my years in the school of life , I have seen this happen time after time. I have seen friends that it happened to, acquaintances , and I have certainly had it happen to me.....as in these recent situations.

I have always sought out positive situations and feelings. I have found , in my life and looking at others, that the negatives in life find you fast enough . So, there is no need to create them.... let alone, create them by purposefully destroying a positive situation . Yet, for some reason, many people do just that. I have seen ....and experienced...time after time..people who have a positive relationship or the potential of a positive relationship work ever so hard at producing behaviors that cause the situation or relationship to deteriorate and in some cases dissolve.

Thinking is one of my favorite pastimes and I have wondered and am wondering now.....WHY? Finding good and positive feelings is hard enough in our world ...but , to destroy the ones that you have or could have is a puzzlement to me. Here are a few of my thoughts on the why of it all. I am sure you have more of your own and your own questions on this subject as I see it happening quite a bit.

I think this is a very complex subject and I will not be able to get into deep psychological reasons as I am not qualified to. I will speak only from my observations and my personal opinion based on dealing with many many people during my life. I am certainly no expert or I wouldn't be writing this musing :-)

I think fear is the basis for some of these behaviors. Some people are afraid of good things....probably because they don't feel good about themselves...so, as you show that you feel good about them...they become uncomfortable and start "acting out". Usually, what happens is that their behaviors work and the good feelings from you ,that they were uncomfortable with, turn negative. Although, this was their intent....they are not happy with this outcome either....so further "acting out" behaviors usually persist. I wish I knew the answer to turning this type of situation around.....but, I do not. It is very hurtful to oneself and difficult to continually deal with insensitive, negative, and troubled people.

The next big factor , I think, is that manners....social graces...have gone by the wayside. There seems to be fewer Thank You's....fewer acknowledgements.....very little appreciation expressed.....however, people seem to still have the expectation that you will continue to support and encourage their efforts without them being gracious about yours. I see this happening a lot, especially on the internet. I do not know why people think this...perhaps, being too self centered and self absorbed..a feeling of entitlement....could be factors that cause this lack of graciousness.

I am , perhaps, a bit simplistic in my approach to people and situations. I have always felt that everyone who crosses my path deserves, unless shown otherwise, a kind, honest, and gracious approach and response by me. I want people to feel good communicating with me. I like to think that this simple approach and regard for people has brought me all the wonderful supportive people in my world today. However, this approach also encourages those that have this negative approach to things to "take advantage" of what they perceive as "easy going", "nice", and "soft touch" of a person. I have even written a separate musing about this phenomenon....Softhearted...is not ...Softheaded.. If you are a kind and gracious person as a rule, I know you have run into these types of persons, also. For further thoughts on the subject, please read or listen to ...Softhearted...is not....Softheaded...

So, the next question is always...what to do about it. Here's what I do , have done, and will continue to do as this situation occurs in my world. It will, because ....people are people and each person has different values. Once , this poor or thoughtless treatment starts....I give it a bit of time to make sure that it's not a character flaw but just simple mistakes or extenuating circumstances...I have a saying that seems to prove itself true too many times......"It sometimes takes a while for the "jerk" to show thru".....but, if one is there within a person...it always does.

Those of you who follow my musings know what I am going to say next...yes,......you have to remove yourself from these types of people so that negative energy from them does not disrupt your world. It is possible to "redeem" some of these situations....I have done so with a few in my past...but, it's a 2-way street.....and the odds are not good when you deal with the insensitive , troubled and self-absorbed people that I have been discussing...To be more direct and specific.....I am not sure it is possible to make someone ...kind, sensitive, trustworthy and of good character. Someone, who you want to continue to share your feelings and communications with in a trusting and positive environment.

As a final thought, it is very important that we not allow other people's negative treatment of us to impact our future interactions with others. We would be short changing ourselves, for sure. We just have to be discerning and aware while continuing to be our natural selves.

QUOTES:

"Honesty is an expensive gift....do not expect it from cheap people" - Warren Buffet

"People who don't see their nature and imagine they can practice thoughtlessness all the time are liars and fools." - Bodhidharma

"As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision." - Helen Keller

"Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it". - Douglas Horton

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Who Am I ?

I am an adult female who is a cellist, composer, and a student of life experiences (by necessity). I feel we are all students in life until the day we die. I am, a realist and I try to stay grounded in what I feel is the truth in any situation. I feel we have a responsibility to God, ourselves, and the people who love us to be the very best person we can be.

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DREAMS......LOST.... AND FOUND.....

HAPPY...A STATE OF MIND AND......HEART.....

I WAS WONDERING........

Who Am I ?

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