I told her my philosophy about this subject. When I was 21 I went thru one of these heartbreaking situations . One day while I was thinking about this situation and the person involved in very negative terms....it was as if a light bulb went off.
I realized that heartbreak...someone doing you wrong...is like being stabbed in the heart. One of the differences is the person doing the stabbing goes on their merry way. But, you are not so lucky....you talk about it with friends....you think about it...you don't have fun because the subject comes up when out with friends...perhaps your job suffers...people ask you about him/her. You are not going on your merry way.....this kind of response which is normal allows the other person to keep hurting/affecting you and he/she is not even around !
As young as I was, I knew that kind of thinking/feeling had to change. I would not allow the hurting to go on (is that another country song?)...the best revenge or a kinder word...payback is your own success and happiness.
Thoughts equal the direction a person will go in..change the thoughts and change the direction....this has been my philosophy since that light bulb day. I am so grateful I came to that thinking because, unfortunately, I needed that philosophy for other situations in the future. It is difficult in a blog to explain in detail how to do this. It is complex and individual....I am just presenting the concept for thought. However, I can tell you how I did/do it and if it helps get you thinking ...great !
I personally feel that our thoughts are like habits. According to the experts, bad habits can't be broken but have to be replaced with good habits. That is what I did and do all the time because it worked and continues to work for me.....in big and small situations .
So, when my thoughts about a situation would start down a "somebody did me wrong" path(doesn't matter the situation)....I replace them with thoughts of the positive...my goals....what I am going to do in the future...basically change focus and apply that thinking energy to something that will move you forward....you get the idea. This new way of dealing with these "bad feelings" becomes habit over time ...a good one...after a few years you won't have to think about it. It will be how you automatically process and handle a "hurt heart"/feelings/even anger...it's automatic for me now.
This is not what people usually call positive thinking....where you try to think good about every situation....that never worked with me....let's face it...a jerk is a jerk, a liar is a liar etc....thinking good about him/her doesn't make what that person did go away....No....I'm saying do not think about that person at ALL!...think about something that's going to do you some good not keep you in the hurt/angry/negative mode.
Out of mind....out of your life !!..and...
The best payback is your own positive and successful life.
So, don't sing that "Somebody did Somebody Wrong" song......even if they did.....you don't need to !
"Habits are like comfortable beds; they are easy to get into, but difficult to get out of." -- Denis Waitley
"Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now." -- Denis Waitley