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​Musings

These posts are my musings and cover many topics.  Some posts will be observations that I have made over my lifetime...some will be what I call, truisms.  Truisms that I have developed from having to deal with the tough situations life sometimes deals us.  I developed these little philosophies to help me avoid a situation in the future or  to allow me to have a better outcome the next time around.  All observations, truisms , and whatever other post this blog contains are  based on my own personal experiences and  opinions.  Hopefully, some post will be of some help to someone in a situation or  give someone another perspective...another way of looking/thinking about a situation that is helpful.  I love writing these posts and I appreciate you  reading them :-)

Please be aware there is a NEW  feature added to  some of the Musings.....AUDIO....There will be an audio bar on those Musings that offer this option.....You may not feel like reading at that moment....now you may listen:-)

Quote:

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind."- Gibran

A GENTLER TIME ?....THIS IS NOT IT....

6/30/2014

2 Comments

 
My people experiences lately just causes me to SMH...one of my usual things I say..".this is a tough world"...is proving to be too true....In a gentler time one could rely on a friend or acquaintance  to be sensitive to their feelings and at the very least not  blatantly make fun of them, be mean to them, ridicule them, and just generally show disregard for who they are and what they do....I have seen this happen  with 2 different people this week and meanness over a period of time from another.....

It seems  to me that, overall , sensitivity and kindness generally have been on a decline....I have also seen and experienced a lot of  the opposite , of course...but overall,... kindness and graciousness is on the decline and self -absorption , meanness, and insensitivity is on the increase.

I see and experience those two values   in the media and social media sites I participate in ....since being a musician is a rather new thing for me and really so is FB and certainly Twitter, I thought it was the entertainment industry that encourages  self absorption and insensitivity  but, no....it is  outside the internet world also, although, as I think....certainly not as much. 

Maybe, people on the internet don't see the people they communicate with as "real"..with feelings  and thoughts....that's an interesting  concept that is just too awful to consider.....that would mean there is no trust...no loyalty...and most certainly no friendship and caring ....just people meeting their needs whatever they are and saying and doing anything towards that end......Unfortunately, I have seen this happen too much to people....all of which, has inspired me to write this musing....

At first, I thought it was me...but, then, an author FB friend posted about this issue from her experience...helping people...responding to their questions..with no feed back and no thanks...as I was reading the post  I was appalled but not surprised at the ungratefulness and insensitivity shown her....then, other people started posting their experiences..each one telling me that I am not alone with this thinking...

It seems that shallowness, unkindness, insensitivity, meanness and self-absorption is alive and well....since not everyone is like this....thank goodness....it just seems that way....what to do is the question.....As usual,  I will only speak to what I do ...and those of you who are loyal musing
readers/listeners...know exactly  what I am going to say :-)..

After much thought about this issue, it is my feeling that all these negative issues have to do with an individual's core values....no one with  good character or values does any  of what I have been discussing except as an error of judgement... a mistake...and then handles it
accordingly..like a gracious and sensitive person..everyone makes mistakes..we are human...but, we have to rectify the situation or at least seriously attempt to....when this doesn't  happen, and even repeats..then, I know it is a character issue....and I act accordingly....

Well, I do not plan to change my behavior on how I treat people...as mentioned in another musing or two....people of low character can not make me treat people like they do....I will continue to go out on the limb and treat everyone 100% with kindness until they have shown me they do not deserve it....then, I do not and will not be put in the position of behaving poorly...ie:...being "mad"...angry....and rude....I don't do those things well at all....what I have done and will continue to do is ...distance myself and walk away...this way , minimal energy is expended and I have removed myself from a negative energy situation and most, important....negative people....

I want to talk about when we see someone we know treat someone else badly....I just saw this recently and was discussing this with a friend....I said ...as far as I was concerned what that person did to the other is as if they did it to me....and  I would not give that person any  regard....this is my own personal value system and I know it is tough..but, when  I see someone treat someone they know in a negative manner...I assume , sometime, that could happen to me....an easy example would be...if I know someone is talking bad about a friend of theirs or making fun of them behind their back...I assume if that person was my friend...they would do it to me...I would not hold them in high regard and be around them...

Well, dear musing reader, I hope you have not had these experiences but, based on what I hear from my FB friends and others, you probably have...I am not concerned that you are one of these people because you wouldn't be reading or listening to my musings :-)..

There really isn't a way to stop these things from happening....it's human nature and we meet a lot of people ...so it is bound to happen again...we just have to deal with it the best we can on a case by case basis...and be VERY glad we are not like those people...there is no happiness , joy, or good feelings  inside for them...

QUOTES:

"In  life's journey, you will meet all sorts of characters.  Always remember, never shed a tear for the heartless, corrupt or insensitive." - Krystal Volney

"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.  I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me." - Al Capone

"Don't ever mistake my silence for  ignorance,  my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness." - Anonymous 

"Should you find yourself the victim of other peoples bitterness, ignorance, smallness, or insecurities, ..Remember this, things could be much worse, You could be one of them" - Anonymous 

"Meanness demeans the demeaner far more than the demeaned."- Malcolm Forbes

Personal note:  I have never used scripture in my quote section before...but, I asked a dear friend who studies scripture..."what has God got to say about this?"...she said...google it:-)..and I did...and found this ....

"As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him."-Titus 3:10 

"A mean person gets paid back in meanness, a gracious person in grace."-proverbs 14:14
  
2 Comments
Alexander Carlisle White
6/30/2014 02:14:38 am

I can relate to this very well, Mary. Last night, I experienced someone I cared about being openly, childishly, ridiculed in front of me. Normally, I am pretty "zen", but that is one way to make me very irritated.

Rule numero uno for me is - treat people how you truly wish to be treated.

A person cannot really control the path that their life takes on, but they can 100% choose how they react to it along the way. The people who spit hatred, ridicule, and belittlement are often the weakest, most emotionally traumatized deep down, but that does not mean we have to take their negativity.

Be, always, kind, but to walk away, I believe, is the best alternative. Maybe they will see the darkness in their own hearts eventually.

Reply
MELLOW CELLO link
6/30/2014 02:06:53 pm

Thank you Alexander for taking the time to read this musing and to give this very valuable input...it is extremely well said and certainly clearly states what this musing is all about....I am with you on every point you made ....I , too, treat people with the kindness, care , and concern that I like to have given me..it is always a wonderful surprise when I receive it back and I always hold those people in high regard....

There was a saying I recently posted on FB that said something like:...things continually happen to us that we allow to happen..being kind and walking away is the best way, I agree, to stop what we do not like based on our value systems...

I also like your words "darkness of heart"...it describes better than the word "heartless"...so many people have darkness in their heart, Alexander, instead of light....and we are right, I believe, in being kind to them(they really need kindness).......as we walk away from them and their poor treatment.

Thank you again Alexander, for your insightful and thoughtful comments....

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    Who Am I ? 

    I am an adult female who is a cellist, composer, and a student of life experiences (by necessity).  I feel we are all students in life until the day we die.  I am, a realist and I try to stay grounded in what I feel is  the truth in any situation. I feel we have a responsibility to God, ourselves, and the people who love us to be the very best person we can be.

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